I have been thinking about this for some time, I am not the person I used to be. Or should I say I am not the personality I used to be?
I don't think I am who I was before I got so fat. I am even more confident than that. I am more certain, more comfortable. This is due, in part, to age. Let's face it, middle age brings on confidence - it just comes with living. The really interesting stuff, though, is not related to age, it's related to massive weight loss.
Something very profound happened when I lost weight. Layers started to peel away. All the insulation that I wrapped my ego in came away. Like sloughing off dead skin or peeling an onion. I can't say if it was quick or slow, but in less than a year I already felt like a different person. My sister said she got her sister back.
The manifestation of this is manifold. I join conversations and groups readily, I accept offers and take more risks, I seek opportunities I wouldn't before. My last post was about movement, and this has a lot to do with it. Being able to move easily in this world is a big thing, no pun intended! I also notice that people treat me differently. People I knew before are just, well, different towards me. Or is that am I different to them?
I am more relaxed in some ways, and yet more animated. I feel more myself.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Move It!
I can move it. And I am.
Being able to move is reason alone to move. Before surgery I avoided moving. I knew this wasn't the way life used to be or should be, but moving had just become, inconvenient. It wasn't easy, it wasn't fun. I sweated, I panted. I didn't like the thought of anyone seeing the mass in motion.
On Tuesday my sister treated me to a NIA class. A combination of free dance, yoga, martial arts, isometrics and motion. It was fun, it was carefree, it was (eek!) exercise. Wednesday and Thursday I felt sore muscles in amazing places. I felt tired, but also exhilirated. Exercise as it should be.
But it's easy to say that when you are not overweight, isn't it? So I write this lest I forget some 5-10 years from now how much fun it is and how significant that is.
I wouldn't have dreamed at jumping at the chance to take this class in the past. Sure there were times in my life I was fit and eager, but they were not recent and not the norm. My sister has been a long-time devotee of NIA and so I had been hearing about it for years. Having the chance to spend a leisurely day with her and partake was just too tempting to miss. I had to do it, I wanted it!
I still love yoga, for the meditation and the physical development. But maybe, just maybe, I don't need to be so...cautious...anymore.
Being able to move is reason alone to move. Before surgery I avoided moving. I knew this wasn't the way life used to be or should be, but moving had just become, inconvenient. It wasn't easy, it wasn't fun. I sweated, I panted. I didn't like the thought of anyone seeing the mass in motion.
On Tuesday my sister treated me to a NIA class. A combination of free dance, yoga, martial arts, isometrics and motion. It was fun, it was carefree, it was (eek!) exercise. Wednesday and Thursday I felt sore muscles in amazing places. I felt tired, but also exhilirated. Exercise as it should be.
But it's easy to say that when you are not overweight, isn't it? So I write this lest I forget some 5-10 years from now how much fun it is and how significant that is.
I wouldn't have dreamed at jumping at the chance to take this class in the past. Sure there were times in my life I was fit and eager, but they were not recent and not the norm. My sister has been a long-time devotee of NIA and so I had been hearing about it for years. Having the chance to spend a leisurely day with her and partake was just too tempting to miss. I had to do it, I wanted it!
I still love yoga, for the meditation and the physical development. But maybe, just maybe, I don't need to be so...cautious...anymore.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Still Losing - 16 Months Post-Op
It's now past 16 months post-op and although I have slowed my weight loss significantly, I haven't stopped. I thought I was done, but now I see the scale slipping lower yet. I have now lost 141 pounds. Yes, that is one WHOLE person. Thank you Duodenal Switch!
What is most frustrating is the clothes. I finally felt like I got a bunch of great clothes and I could complete my wardrobe with gorgeous SIZE 8s! And then I wore a pair of Calvin Klein pants I got at the outlet mall for only $12 and it seemed loose! I'm like, hey!, what the heck! Don't make me have to buy Size 6.
Aside from that, I do want to have some surgery done to "lift" and make me purdy without my winter woolens. I've pretty much leveled off enough that the surgeon wouldn't think twice about doing the surgery. But I want to be the one who determines what really needs to be done. If I don't have to cut somewhere, don't cut.
I'm probably deluding myself - thinking the skin will tighten up on it's own. But I can dream, can't I? Or maybe I just don't want to deal with all that. And especially not when I'm worried about hanging on to my job. I have more pressing things on my mind today than whether or not my nipples will tuck into my waistband.
Health-wise I feel great. I do think there are some unfortunate areas of the anatomy that get pulled when the skin hangs. Like my rear-end for one. Gross, right?! There are other areas too, that one just bugs and makes for some really uncomfortable moments. That is one I need to talk to my doctor about. Something just ain't right there.
It's the good, the bad and the ugly about the DS in this post.
What is most frustrating is the clothes. I finally felt like I got a bunch of great clothes and I could complete my wardrobe with gorgeous SIZE 8s! And then I wore a pair of Calvin Klein pants I got at the outlet mall for only $12 and it seemed loose! I'm like, hey!, what the heck! Don't make me have to buy Size 6.
Aside from that, I do want to have some surgery done to "lift" and make me purdy without my winter woolens. I've pretty much leveled off enough that the surgeon wouldn't think twice about doing the surgery. But I want to be the one who determines what really needs to be done. If I don't have to cut somewhere, don't cut.
I'm probably deluding myself - thinking the skin will tighten up on it's own. But I can dream, can't I? Or maybe I just don't want to deal with all that. And especially not when I'm worried about hanging on to my job. I have more pressing things on my mind today than whether or not my nipples will tuck into my waistband.
Health-wise I feel great. I do think there are some unfortunate areas of the anatomy that get pulled when the skin hangs. Like my rear-end for one. Gross, right?! There are other areas too, that one just bugs and makes for some really uncomfortable moments. That is one I need to talk to my doctor about. Something just ain't right there.
It's the good, the bad and the ugly about the DS in this post.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Vitamins
Now that I'm 1 year post-op I recently had my labs reviewed. The amazing thing is the complete resolution of all the health issues I previously had. But this post is about vitamins, not that.
So with the review I need to increase my Vitamin D (50,000 IUs) to every other day (from once a week). And since my hematocrit is low, I was told to increase my Iron - doubling it daily. The hematocrit is only slightly low, and other indicators for iron are good, so I am taking it upon myself to double the iron only every other day.
This should make it easier to remember (double the Iron on the days I take the Vitamin D). AND try to keep the cost down.
I am looking forward to the end of the calendar year to see how much I spent on vitamins in the past year. I know it will be high.
I am now taking Calcium 3 times a day, probiotic 2 times a day, 1 multivitamin, 1 zinc, and, as previously described, the iron and Vitamin D. This should keep my hair from falling out and prevent me from becoming a stooped old woman. Or so I hope.
I am doing the flexible healthcare spending account. Next year the limit is being raised to $5000 - which would be good for reconstructive surgery. But I'm thinking about ordering my vitamins online through U-Promise. It's more of a pain in a way - to order online. If you don't order online you can just run out to Target or Whole Foods and pick up what you need (at least for most of what I take, although the Iron is by special request). I can still do Flexible Spending with Upromise - but I can also get the rebate. Which will lessen the pain of paying for vitamins.
But then again, it's a small price to pay for great health.
So with the review I need to increase my Vitamin D (50,000 IUs) to every other day (from once a week). And since my hematocrit is low, I was told to increase my Iron - doubling it daily. The hematocrit is only slightly low, and other indicators for iron are good, so I am taking it upon myself to double the iron only every other day.
This should make it easier to remember (double the Iron on the days I take the Vitamin D). AND try to keep the cost down.
I am looking forward to the end of the calendar year to see how much I spent on vitamins in the past year. I know it will be high.
I am now taking Calcium 3 times a day, probiotic 2 times a day, 1 multivitamin, 1 zinc, and, as previously described, the iron and Vitamin D. This should keep my hair from falling out and prevent me from becoming a stooped old woman. Or so I hope.
I am doing the flexible healthcare spending account. Next year the limit is being raised to $5000 - which would be good for reconstructive surgery. But I'm thinking about ordering my vitamins online through U-Promise. It's more of a pain in a way - to order online. If you don't order online you can just run out to Target or Whole Foods and pick up what you need (at least for most of what I take, although the Iron is by special request). I can still do Flexible Spending with Upromise - but I can also get the rebate. Which will lessen the pain of paying for vitamins.
But then again, it's a small price to pay for great health.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Why Blog?
It's been almost 14 months since I had the Duodenal Switch operation to lose weight. You might be asking, "Why now?"
I have kept a journal since the surgery because I've always wanted to track, monitor, and remember the journey. But I didn't really know if I wanted to share that journey. And then it sort of dawned on me - I share it almost every day.
I decided early on that using surgery to lose the weight was not something I should be ashamed of. This was my salvation. And shouldn't I shout that from the mountaintop? When asked how I lost it I am honest. I am open and confide readily about the decision, the challenges, the recovery and even about how I am trying NOT to lose weight now.
So why not blog about it?
I have kept a journal since the surgery because I've always wanted to track, monitor, and remember the journey. But I didn't really know if I wanted to share that journey. And then it sort of dawned on me - I share it almost every day.
I decided early on that using surgery to lose the weight was not something I should be ashamed of. This was my salvation. And shouldn't I shout that from the mountaintop? When asked how I lost it I am honest. I am open and confide readily about the decision, the challenges, the recovery and even about how I am trying NOT to lose weight now.
So why not blog about it?
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